Baby Bump Laughters

I have accumulated my fair share of embarrassing moments with my baby bumps and thought that if I can laugh through it, why not share a little humor.

On the contrary of one might think, baby bumps can be quite useful and the bigger it is the better! For example:

Have you ever had that last french fry that you accidentally let it spill from your fingers making it’s way towards your mouth? In your head in slow motion you scream “ohhhhh nooooo”, and poof the most devastating scenario was saved by your bump. Now, you are not embarrassed by the fact that you let everyone know how devastated you were about loosing your elegance but the fact that your belly is so big that it has become a “food catcher”, “crumb catcher”, “cup holder” and much more.

You are outside running errands and “ouch”, your baby just kicked you in your bladder. You running like a maniac looking for any public bathroom and you find yourself in a manicure salon that has a paper sign on a door, “customer’s only” bathroom. Someone  sees you and comes running towards you and you think to yourself “are they running from a fire?” She grabs your hand and rushes you to the back end employee’s only bathroom and while you want some privacy releasing through your grieve, she asks you “Is it a boy or girl?” You thank her a million of times and make a mental note not to stumble there ever again.

You might be at the movies and run to the bathroom before the movie starts because it’s going to be a long journey and maneuvering between the tight rows can be a mission. Plus you run the risk of making a hippopotamus shadow going by the projector that reflects the shadow onto the screen. Saving the embarrassment you walk towards the bathroom to find a big long line. No worries, anyone with an ounce of sympathy in their hearts will let you go through. If not just grunt, swing your belly back and forth with both hands supporting your lower back, stump your feet, someone will get annoyed, turn around to notice your belly and will immediately let you go first. They don’t want their movie night to be ruined either by you peeing all over their feet!

You think that everyone knows that you are pregnant when driving and the same bathroom rule should be applied on the road. When other cars do not let you through you scream with your windows shut “don’t you see I am pregnant” and point your fingers towards your belly. “No they don’t” I will tell you this much.

Remember when I said the bigger the belly the better! Well, it might serve you as a new cup holder when you laying down watching t.v, munching on chips. However, big belly and no longer fitting clothe will never be a new fashion trend and why should you get new clothe when you will only use it for 3 months, right? It might not be financially useful but it will safe you months of embarrassments and not to mention you don’t have to hold your pants twith a rubber band anymore.

Try not to laugh and sneeze too hard, a warm liquid can accidentally run through your legs. Hey don’t read this with a stinky face? You never peed in your pants before, really, never? Not even when you were a kid?

Look at your shoes from a distance to make sure the shoes match. Never run out of the house without double, triple checking your feet, especially if their slip-ons.

Strange noises will suddenly come out of your mouth. Don’t eat and talk at the same time, unless you want to shutter someone else dream to ever wanting to be pregnant.

Very important information coming next:

Try to carry a scented spray around for the first 3-4 months of your pregnancy just in case you release an interesting fume from behind. Actually keep it in your purse after those initial months in case you occasionally eat too much, which you will and reconnect with unpleasant memories.

These were some of my embarrassing moments but I am not embarrassed to share them. I think they are quite funny even when it happened to me.

So if you have any funny embarrassing stories, pregnancy related or not. Please do share it, I would love to read about it in the comment section bellow.

Best of Luck!