Ramadan 2017-Day 8

I was not planning on posting anything today but since insomnia is beating my behind I decided “why not” make my lack of sleep useful.

I want to write a post about the difference between Ramadan in the States and in Egypt but to be honest I feel quite lazy to do so. Instead, I am just going to pour my feelings out and I will be very raw about it.

Today was no doubt the hardest fast ever. Fasting is a wonderful experience both physical and spiritual but it doesn’t make it less hard. In fact, I love fasting and everything that comes with it so much that I decided to give it a go even being 7 months pregnant.

Ramadan is not just about fasting, it’s also about detoxifying yourself from all the bad from this world. It is about building a true connection with your Creator by establishing sincere acts of worship and always calling your Creator in your prayers. It is a clean slack, where if you are completely true to your intentions and actions during this month than hopefully God will forgive all of our sins. It is the time to prioritize what is the most important thing in our lives and try to fix and eliminate our bad habits. During this time, Muslims not only fast but they pray more with extra sincerity, they call upon God more throughout the day and try to be as conscious as possible of our behavior and intentions.

It is all easy said than done especially when you have two toddlers who happen to always make their mom extra tired when she is already tired. It seems like children love to test their parents limits when they are in their absolute worst mood. But in fact is that we as parents are also humans and need to sometimes plug out.

I was my worst self, the self that I don’t like and my kids are not happy about it either. I was completely aware that my behavior was affecting my kid’s behavior as well. However, for some reason I was not able to switch off even though I really wanted to. Today, I just wanted to hand my kids to one of their family members and just take an one hour rest.

The truth of the matter, everyone in Egypt is exhausted. This country is not an easy one to live in for most Egyptians not to mention for an foreigner who is stuck in very authentic Egyptian life without any language resources. I think the language, culture and having to lean on someone to always help you in the simplest to the toughest of the problems is what is making this experience a very tough one. I can’t solve most of my problems so things just keep on adding on and on until I become an emotional rack.

If you are reading this from the Western world than you must be thinking right now “poor girl, I wish I was there to rescue you”. However, leaving here a little more than a year, all of my problems seem to be minuscule to most people in Egypt. In fact, I do feel very blessed as I have seen so much despair in this country and the world. The horrendous acts in Syria, the constant perseverance of the Palestinian people and knowing that there are people today all around the world that go to sleep and wake up hungry. Countless people who have lost everything due to natural disaster catastrophes and those who live in slums that don’t have access to clean water, food and medical treatment.

No matter how bad my day was today and I am sure I will have many other bad ones. I still feel blessed that my days are mostly affected my tiredness, hormonal changes, pregnancy moods ect. Ramadan is not about being perfect and setting perfect expectations, to me it is about being honest and striving to improve always. The one thing I want to get out of Ramadan the most is always leaning on God to help me with my problems and to trust what he has destined for my journey in this life.

Image result for “And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.”

 

 

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Ramadan 2017-Day 7

Happy one week of Ramadan,

I was on a row there with my daily posts until my internet stopped working and ruined everything.

This post will just be a quick update on my pregnancy during fasting. Surprisingly, fasting has helped me maintain a healthy diet, where I am constantly aware of what I am eating and if I am consuming enough nutrients and drinking enough liquids throughout the day. Where as before, I was not conscious of my nutrients intake nor was I drinking enough water through the day.

Since, I’ve been extremely aware of my nutrients, liquids and taking my vitamins daily, I’ve noticed that my legs don’t feel as heavy. I am not wobbling due to discomfort anymore. The only complain that I would have is the lack of sleep. It’s partially my fault because I am putting my kids down to sleep early and I like to enjoy a little bit of quiet time to browse the net and eat some snacks in peace.

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Ramadan 2017 Series-Day 3

Before every Ramadan I get nervous thinking about fasting. For some reason, I always feel like I will not be able to fast and that I will give into temptation. My first Ramadan after converting to Islam was the worst. I didn’t really know what I was doing. I converted very quickly upon researching about Islam but I knew this was the path I was suppose to follow. At the time of my conversion I just had moved away from home and transferred to a knew school. I didn’t have much of guidance during my conversion and I was still very shy and insecure letting people know I was a Muslim.

Ramadan was very knew to me and at times brought feelings of sadness and loneliness. My family was very aggressive towards their feelings of my conversion which lead to distancing and isolating even more from my family and friends.

Every Ramadan after that, has been better and better and I have been blessed every time. For this reason I resorted to fast this Ramadan because I know that the sacrifice of fasting does not attain to the amount of blessings. Therefore, I never saw Ramadan as a sacrifice. I see it instead as a blessing, it’s a month dedicated to getting closer to our Creator. A month where we not only clean our bodies but clean our souls and prioritize our mind to what’s really important in this life.

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BACK TO MY PREGNANCY UPDATE DURING RAMADAN;

I finally went out of the house and I must say it was refreshing. I thought I would get tired but it gave me energy instead. I tried to be out of the sun while out and did not stay outside for more than 2 hours. I have to take baby steps. I know it sounds silly that I would take so much precaution but Egypt right now is super hot and sunny and any healthy person despite being pregnant or not would get exhausted by walking outside for too long.