The Third Time is Harder…

Funny-Illustrations-Pregnancy-Struggles

If you think being pregnant is hard, tiring and a toll on your body than you are 100% right. If you think that’s hard then you can easily sympathize with someone who is pregnant with toddlers, ok scratch that. Someone who is pregnant with toddlers and no car. Wait! Double scratch that! Someone who is pregnant with toddlers, no car in a chaotic city of Cairo and no husband around.

O M G..Who is that? You might ask..

Well, it’s me!!

I really try my hardest to be passed as a “strong” person and maybe I am but damn am I exhausted. I don’t even swear, so that in it self tell you something.

I am tired of people asking me, “So, how do you feel?”

Well, how to do you think I feel?? Ergh, just thinking about this question is making mad!!!! Why don’t you ask instead, “Do you need help?” or “can I take your kids for a couple of hours so you can rest?

Why? I ask, why you don’t ask me those questions? Off course, I am going to say, I’m fine because coincidentally you only ask me how I am feeling, when I am feeling fine not when it’s 1 o’clock in the morning and your back is hurting and your VG is burning.

However, if you want to insist on how I am doing than continue on reading this post because right now I am in range and cannot keep my emotions in tact.

I am not fine..thank you very much…my feet has swollen and that never happened with my two pregnancies.

I am tired of bending over for picking up shit from the floor, cleaning a house constantly that has the ability to always look a mess, sleep deprived due to pregnancy insomnia, sharp back pains that keep me awake when I finally want to sleep and screaming at my children to stop the heck they doing, to the point where I feel like the baby might pop right there and then.

On top of things, everything in Egypt is a chore and complicated. If I step out of my house which I do everyday, I come home exhausted as if I ran a marathon. Then, I can’t sit because if I do, I have toddlers jumping all over me and don’t give a damn if I am carrying another human being who happens to be their sister in my belly.

If I sound pessimistic, negative and even crazy, well it’s because I have kept this feeling deeply inside and I can no longer bare it for my own sake.

On one hand, I can’t complain to my family because after all, I choose to get pregnant which is totally not true. I didn’t want to be pregnant but just never did anything to stop it which in their eyes it’s like a sin to have a lot of kids or something like that. But DAMN, CAN A WOMAN JUST COMPLAIN WHEN SHE IS TIRED WITHOUT BEING JUDGED ALL THE TIME!!!!!???????

On my husband side of the family, it’s completely normal to have a big family and in fact most people in Egypt have a big family, so complaining to them feels like I am being a brat and spoiled teenager. In their perspective this aint suffering, it’s normal.

So, this why I sound crazy cuz literally I have no one to talk about my true feelings and it’s really affecting my mood and making me very stressed all the time.

I want to end this post with a little fact about me…

When I was 9 years old, I came home from school and told my mom a joke I had learned that day. My mom was laughing her eyes out and I just thought, “man, I got my mom laughing at my jokes!!” One day at a family gathering, everyone was telling jokes and laughing when all the sudden my mom said, “hey, Andrea has a really good joke but you have to put aside her age and just listen to the joke as if an adult is telling it.” At this point everyone is engaged and eager to hear the joke. When I finished telling the joke that no one laughed at, I can never forget the prolonged  angry look that my dad mad at my mom and I. He screamed and was furious at us in front of everyone and that is something that my dad never did before so I was really scared at that point. His range was all due to the fact that the whole joke was full of cussing words, actually the joke was about these words.

That was a pivotal moment and after that I just never dared to say a swear in my childhood moments. With that said, if I ever swear either on writing or speaking, it’s because I am in complete range!!!!!!!!!

On another note, if you have read so far, well thank you a million for sticking around and rest assure I am not a crazy person. Just a prego woman with extra feelings boiling inside and just having wrote this is feeling much better, even my back pain has subsided.

Goodnight,

Andrea

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4 thoughts on “The Third Time is Harder…

  1. I can only imagine! I found my second pregnancy to be much harder because yeah, the toddler doesn’t understand that you’re tired and impatient and uncomfortable. It’s good to get the not so great stuff off your chest! And I hope your sleep improves, pregnancy insomnia is the worst.

    Liked by 1 person

    • hahaha I think toddlers just have this ability to drain our energy whether we are pregnant or not. I did get some sleep and while I have insomnia I at least try to be productive, 98% of my posts are written around 1 ish-2ish in the AM

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Andrea, my heart breaks for you. I wish you had someone in Cairo to confide in. I’m sure there are other pregnant mothers of toddlers there who feel exactly like you feel. They just don’t know who to talk to either. I wish I could take care of your children one afternoon so you could rest, but it’s a long commute from North Carolina! LOL! I know we are of different religions, but I will pray for you to find calmness, peace, and confidence.

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    • Janet, I can’t thank you enough for your kind words and your prayer, it means a lot to me. Today, I decided to take it easy on myself and take a nap with the kids. It was just 30 min but it was sufficient. Part of the reason why I don’t have help is because I don’t ask for it and expect people to just offer it. But I also decided after writing this post that I want to change that too and will start demanding help. The worst people will do is say no, but I hardly doubt that will happen. That’s the wonderful thing about writing, it can also work as therapy. After writing this post, it was as if a weight and anger was lifted out of me. And I am also happy that I can make connections with other people and know that people support me from every facet of this world. I really hope I can contribute to your well and warm wishes on day it really brings a smile =)

      Like

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